Like every other little things, this is going to be just as hard. ):
I feel so blue. ):
Mum just told me just now that she's giving away my hamsters to my neighbour! Wth. I have been thinking for the past few days and she just gave it away without my permission. I mean come on! I'm already fifteen and I can decide what is good and bad for me. All I need is time.
She's making me feel so useless. She's making me feel as though I can't think. Who is she to decide who I can actually give my hamsters to. Fuck. If only God permits it, then I would certainly have stayed home today.
Why she made the decisions? Because the darker hamster escaped from it's cage. Why make a big fuss? That thing is like bloody hell smaller than her! And come on, making her 'suffer' for three hours is certainly not fair to how I am feeling right now. Dear God, I'm so sad. Though it's only been a week or so, I'm somehow emotionally attached to it already. Yes, them fighting really made me so scared and hurt but to actually not hear that anymore, tears me like nobody's business. ):
I'm so blue. ):
***
Got our debate motion early in the morning. Proposition team and against God-knows-what class. *SIGH* It's going to be one heck of a week.
CE period was last minute changed to EMaths. Mdm Jas gave out maths worksheets and we were appointed leaders to work with. My God. I was one of the leader but unfortunately, we were doing indices. The topic which I seriously still suck super lots at. *SIGH* I'm so dead meat.
English period was spent on discussing the motion. It's going to be difficult. Debates remind me of the bittersweet 'talks' I exchanged last year. *SIGH* I miss debating with Rachel. I miss debating with Aziz. I miss debating with Yu Juan. I miss debating with Farah. I miss working together with Mr Shah to do my emotioal speech. *Shows heh! emoticon* Most importantly, I don't know why but currently, I don't think I have the energy or even guts to debate against any of my ex-fellow debater. *SIGH*
Biology was HAHA! Sat near Bernie and Isaac and next to Nabila. So you can actually imagine how kecoh we actually were. Heh! Then Uncle Mr Chong went through the process of osmosis and diffusion for red blood cell and root hair cell. And I swear I didn't know that I am good at drawing those two cell. Heh!
Physics. *SIGH* Sat next to Lymen like always and he was so super duper noisy. He was singing this pongpong song. Don't ask me what song that is. I have got no idea. And I think Lymen should join Campus Superstar or something. HAHA! Okeh, serious.
And for the first time ever, I enjoyed Physics and Biology. For the first time ever also, I actually understood some of the stuff taught. HAHA! Not funny.
AMaths makeup lesson was fast. Like around 15 minutes or so. Wanted to go and support 3e2 but too late. ): They were halfway through thus, we can't enter. Tsk. But anyway, congratulations 3e2 for being able to proceed to the preliminary rounds! (:
***
I can now foresee that this week is certainly not going to be one of my best weeks. Everything has started to be so wrong. Any default is my fault. Fine. Just because I'm stupid, it doesn't mean that I don't know how to decide for myself!
And you have always been emphasising on how mother's words always come true. Do you know the reason why I am like what I am?
Because every step that I took wrongly, you'll always say that I'm too stupid to know it. I'm too arrogant to know my mistakes. Fine. If that is what you actually really want me to be. I shall be.
I'm stupid and arrogant.
Period?