So heads up, it's not the end. Lets start again. (:
I just can't understand. I have my pride. My honour. You can't destroy them with your words. I am much more than you see. So just beat it.
H is for heart. H is for hurt.
F is for friend. F is for foe.
S is for sweet. S is for sour.
Whatever it may be, I'm still me and you can't change that fact. I'm proud of being who I already am.
***
I am officially bored, sick and tired of everything. Tried to do AMaths in the afternoon, but I can't even get a single question correct. Urgh. Life. Why did I even pass Maths last year? I'm in deep shit now.
And Mother don't understand me at all. She's trying to force me to stop going to tuition at Kak Diana's and go to my neighbour's so that my days will be spared. But excuse me, can't she see? I am never comfortable with my neighbour!
To me:
Comfortable means understanding my work.
Uncomfortable means failing the very next tests that I'm going to face.
There's school tomorrow and I don't even know if I'm prepared for it. I'm not ready to face any more topics. I'm not ready for any more tests. And Mr Lim says he's going to change my place.
But can't you see, wherever I am at, I can't do it. Not yet. I don't think I'm prepared.
Gaaaaaaah! F life lah.
And please, stop reminding me that I am the bottom 10 in the class. So what if I am? You are not in my position so you have no idea what I'm facing.
So you see me smiling and laughing. But you will never know how much hatred I have etched in me. And I thought you'd be the first to understand every single shit teenagers are going through. But I was wrong. You are all the same.
I gave up hope on you. And I guess you should give up hope on me.
Stop telling me, "Been there, done that."
You were in my position 6 years ago. But time has change. Can't you see?
You did what I did? Not entirely. What did you do? Were you taking subjects that you have no confidence in? Were you facing people who don't respect you for what and who you are? Were you?
So stop it and just let me control everything.
You don't control my life. Not now, not ever.
I don't feel like going to school tomorrow.
Although Chea Hau offered to exchange place for 2 months! Muahaha! (:
Toodles.