It’s hard to let go. It’s hard to come by.
I promised myself one post when I have forgotten someone. But I don’t know, when I begin to forget, he suddenly reappears right in front of me. I need to do some serious thinking on my own. Friends come and go giving me the exact same advice, but I just can’t seem to do it. What the heck is so difficult? I have no freaking idea. Maybe try since 2006. 2 damn years. I can’t just flip my brain any side I want and say, “The memory is gone. Now, who was it again?”
Try being me and go through what I had. I have no idea how to get on.
Moving on to the dreadful everyday life. How worse can it be?
Try crying almost every night wishing that someone would just lend you an ear or perhaps just give a little hug of encouragement. Oh yes, nobody knows what the heck is going on in this home of mine. Let me just rephrase that. I meant house. What’s the different? The difference is really wide to me personally.
Home: Somewhere you look forward to go after a very long hour of jam-packed schedule. Somewhere you can feel so calm and relax, you feel like you were sleeping the whole time.
House: A place where there’s a roof to shelter you from rain or shine. A place to take a break but only for a while.
I need a break! I so am in need to get out of here. But unfortunately, there’s always someone who says NO to it. I can’t stay cooped up forever you know. Depression state. (Okeh shut up Nasirah.)
Talk about privacy. So what if this laptop belongs to you. What’s so personal about your laptop? Practically nothing. All that you ever do with it is projects and projects and projects. Nothing else. So what the heck is so personal? Why should you be reading this post when you know nothing about me? You still have no rights to read them. My personal stuff. If you want me to respect your’s, then respect my space too.
You’re just so hot headed like Mom. Never knowing what I feel. Why is it so hard? I want nothing more than just peaceful days. There can never be one day that you won’t fight with me. Why are you always picking problems with me? Why do you think I always itch to get out of here? Why does it always have to be my fault?
I may be your supposed 4th, but I’m still a child of yours that deserve some free space and respect that she deserved and that she got.
Camp is coming up. I’m kind of excited I guess but I still have no idea how I would survive. 3 days Nasirah. 3 days.
Aidiladha just passed. I missed Mak Long’s food so much so I didn’t bother about the freaking taste of vomit at my throat for the pass few days. Irritating very much. But it’s okeh really, I get to taste lontong and sambal goreng and kuah lemak and fried chicken and sambal sotong and other stuff. Heh.
I’ve been sleeping late nowadays. Try 1 or 2 in the morning. Tsk. Panda eyes like really. What have I been doing? I’ve been watching Tyra Bank’s talk shows about how weird people are and some other adult stuff (S word duh). I also have been watching She’s Got The Looks, project runway and America’s Next Top Model. HAHA. Really nothing better to do.
I’ve been watching lots of Chinese dramas. From the 3.30pm to the 5.30pm to the 7pm to 9pm shows. Addiction!
I’m not only about dramas and reality shows, I did my homeworks too. Like WOAH. I finally got my ass started on it. And I might have started on it but I’m not even halfway through. Do you know how un-nice that is? School is reopening in around 3 weeks time and I’ve not even started on AMaths (all Kelvin’s fault. Ehem). AMaths is such a pain in the ass. There’s so much workload and I can’t seem to start on even one question. Wth. Motivational? No way.
I think I should just get on with works and works. There’s not much time to go you know. Life is short. Because (I’m short. Gahaha. Dream on!) the time in our daily life is getting shorter. Just when will we ever enjoy life? Forever. Look out of the window. The trees, people walking by and the moving clouds. Those are life that we can never imagine.
So stop saying life sucks cause it isn’t. YEY life!
This post has random feelings. I wonder why.
Sweet Love
Toodles.