January 22, 2009

Finally.

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At approximately 7.20am on Tuesday morning, these things came crashing to the floor. Thankfully, I was still sitting at home doing homework. The even better thing, it came crashing when Dad already went into the lift and the door was already closed. Good or what? (:

After what seems to be a very long time, we finally played The ball game again. Very happy you know!

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But before we actually played the real game, we played the anyhow-version-of-volleyball and anyhow-version-of-frisbee.

Look how very organised and expert we people are.

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The more the merrier you see. (:

So in the end, we played against Firdaus, Naufal, Faris and Haikal. We as in Kelvin, Shi Hui, Aishah, Haziq, Jeremy, Fabian and I. The so-called seniors versus juniors game.

After God-knows-how-long of game, we stopped with a score of 3-2. Which obviously conquered by the juniors. Hmph. Never mind, we were just giving them chances. (:

The game reminded me of us when we use to play against Henry, Chea Hau, Wee Yeong and whoever else. ):

“Play high play high!”

*Plays bloody high till it was impossible for us short sec2s to reach.*

Memories lah.

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We then rested at room and played the don’t-laugh-or-smile-else-you’ll-lose game. Screw Firdaus and Faris for making me laugh like mad! (:

Oh wells, I’ll be very orangey tomorrow. You’ll know why soon. Just the NCOs and those whom I’ve promised.

Alright, I shall now do more stuff that I’m preparing for 2+ months time. (:

Hehe.

Sweet Love

Toodles.

January 20, 2009

Seems like a mile or two.

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*Smacks head*

I went for public duty today and had the shock of my life. Spent my day at Northland Sec helping Nad with 2 AMaths questions! We couldn’t believe that we could actually solve it. Hehe. And she freaked out on the bus. Oh God. (:

The coaches there were shouting things to encourage their own playing teams. I heard one of them shouting, “Be strong on your launch.”

Which to me, applies to my studies. My launch is my effort on my academics.

This therefore brings me to Mr Chong’s words. Urghhh!

2 weeks is a freaking short period to think of something that might change my life, majorly. Haiyer.

Tomorrow is Wednesday. Like oh my God! I have lots of homework due tomorrow and here I am complaining. Good or what?

I feel so fucking lethargic just now in the morning and I thought I would be down with fever. What’s worse, my throat was hurting from all the cough and I looked like a Rudolph. ): But thankfully, I DIDN’T FELL ILL!

Apple, here I come! Haha.

Okeh, I should get going and do my homework. I can die if I were to skip any homework. I will not take chances to see the Mrs Principal. No thanks. (:

Sweet Love

Toodles

January 19, 2009

I think with all my heart.

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“To lose a heart means not that it will be lost forever,
But the right one must find it and take it back home.”

Sat with Mr Chong during lunch break and he has officially given me 2 weeks to think through if I want to drop Biology or not. He asked if I could cope with my Combined Phy/Chem or not.

So much for the New Year resolution huh. I can’t and have yet to get my thinking sorted out. I’m so totally not going to have a good night sleep.

On a much brighter side of studies, I have yet to do my homework. Alright, that is like the duller side of academics. But seriously, the sight of those oh-so-fcuking difficult Maths questions, I’m so not motivated to do my work.

I’m not delaying my work as what some people might see it to be. I just can’t solve those questions and I have to squeeze my brain juice all the time in order for me to get a starting step. Do you know how difficult that is? Of course not.

You know why?

Because you don’t have my brain. Our IQ level differs you see.

So how was school for me today?

As it has always been, super fun yet super tiring. AMaths was already squeezing and almost cutting my brain just to get the brain juices out. ):

Life is like a boat on the water. Either you’ll be safe or you’ll be drown forever.

PE was like so fun. For the first time in my whole almost-16 years of life, I’ve never reached 8 for pull-up, what more 5. Hehe. But I’m happy that I did it! (: Mr Kheng made us girls run with the help of our own luck. Haziqah was cursing me because I kept winning. Hehehek. (:

EMaths was a hair-pulling experience.

By the time it was CE lesson, my body was totally knocked out I don’t even know if I could survive the day. MT was practically a time for snoring and coming up with nonsensical English to Malay translation.

Alright, I should start with Physics now. Wouldn’t want to be left behind.

Again.

Sweet Love

Toodles.

January 18, 2009

I will remember you.

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I realise that I have been lacking of updates as the days get closer  to the end of 2009. No wonder I have been having lots of emotions running in me and I feel so stressed up so easily.

And so I thought I should get myself penning myself down more often than what I have been doing.

So what has been up? I’ve been rushing lots of homework, especially AMaths. When I say rushing, I meant really am into my work. Woah.

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Dad said he’ll change my phone soon. I don’t know how soon. But it’s hard to believe others’ words nowadays. It’s like, I’ve been getting lots of empty promises. I don’t even know if I can say “I believe in your promises,” anymore.

I flipped through my phone contacts today. I can’t believe there’s so many nick names in there that I didn’t even knew existed still. Like for example, Big Bully (ehem). I think it’s a little too lame for that now. Thus, I’ve changed it to ‘Hottest.’

Now infer who I’m referring to.

There’s public duty tomorrow. I don’t know why but I dread missing Malay classes nowadays.

Could it be?
I think I’m driving myself mental!

Anyway, I’m so off for bed. I mean sleep and not bed.

Sweet Love

Toodles.

January 16, 2009

Thorns in life.

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Sometimes, the things in life that you hates the most keep pricking you. I need space. It’s only the 16th of January but many are already falling sick with virus and fever. And I can feel the pressure of O-levels that is coming in 9 months time.

Some feathers have certainly been ruffled by the winds in Singapore this week. In a country where the average wind speed is around 15 to 20 kilometres per hour, it has reached the time of the year when that figure goes up to 30 to 40 kmh.

http://sg.news.yahoo.com/cna/20090116/tap-794-uncommon-strong-winds-singapore-231650b.html

Interesting. No wonder I’m now prone to flu almost every single night. ):

The day today was rather fine. Lessons was alright I guess. Could cope. Issac was so freaking happy because he could do the questions by himself. 180 degrees turn that guy will make. (:

After class, was the ever-so-boring CIP. But it was okeh I guess. Grouped with KimYet, HaoYang and Felicia. Oh yes, imagine the noises! The lift was rather stupid. Maximum of 8 persons but as the lift was closing, with Group 3 with us, the lift doors reopened and the two guys, being very gentlemanly, went out. Felicia and I found it rather LOL.

So CIP was a very funny thing today. I don’t know why.

Flag day tomorrow. Hehe.

***
It doesn’t mean that when I keep quiet, I’m sad. It doesn’t mean that when I keep quiet, I can be stepped all over.

I’m thinking. Thinking of what? Of everything.

Letting go. A new life. A new year. What’s going to happen tomorrow, or in fact later.

I just need a time to think. Is that so hard to ask for?

Sweet Love

Toodles.

January 12, 2009

I take what I can cope.

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I don’t understand why my parents keep asking so so much from me when they don’t even know how difficult it is for me to cope with everything.

Was watching the Malay news and pops the O-levels result for top Malay student who opted for Chinese as her 3rd language. Dad kept on going why are children from other families able to take so many subjects and especially Chinese.

Can’t he understand that not every one has equal abilities? He say this and that, this and that but he doesn’t even know anything. Not that I’m insulting but he didn’t get a proper education. Yes, he doesn’t want me to end up like him or my mom but really, at the very least I would be doing something that I can cope and can understand.

***

Studied for upcoming Biology test which is on Wednesday. Surprisingly, I could actually understand and explain almost everything about excretion. Happy or what? (:

What is left is to memorise secretion! I can do this!

So I have learnt that time management really helps me in my studies. Serious time management is all that I need.

Approximately:
- 5 months to Malay O-level paper.
- 9 months to Science Practical.
- 9 months to first O-level paper.

And 2 more Biology SPA before it gets down to theory and only theory. (:

If 3 years is short for me, what would 5/9 months be? ):

Sweet Love

Toodles.

January 09, 2009

First training 2009

Alright, I promised a proper post but then again, I’m too tired and way too sad  to update. I don’t want to let go. Stupid graduation.

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3 months to go and we get closer every time it’s time to move on. I don’t know how I’ll survive my other days of life after we officially go through Passing Out Parade (POP). I thought it would be as easy as how I moved on Primary school, but when I think and look back, it’s way too different to compare.

3 years of working together very close is one difficult thing to built. But to just let go all of a sudden, is certainly just out of the question.

Our very last CCA orientation was certainly very successful I must say. The juniors made us proud and made us feel that all the things that we taught, came in handy and it was worthwhile. Congratulations! It’s not mainly about us training you, it’s about your own mentality. (:

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I’m going to miss coming down and planning things for SJAB. But it’s okeh right? I have to let go eventually. ):

3 years of friendship.
3 years enduring the hot sun together.
3 years of rebelling and fights.
3 months till official POP.
3 months left for CCA.
3 months left till we have to do strict studies.

Just make sure you don’t forget who we were together.

Tell me it’s going to be NCO ‘08 forever.

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Sweet Love

Toodles.

January 08, 2009

all these while?

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I want to create my own path and not follow what is already planned for me.

Yes, I owe quite a number of posts. Hehe. But considering how busy I’ve been trying to catch up with studies and preparing myself for next week’s Biology test (OMFG!), I think posting about all these things will have to wait.

School has been a-okeh. Class has been very superbly noisy and getting very comfy nowadays. Trying to get comfortable with new sitting arrangement and surroundings. I miss sitting at the back, in between Kelvin and Ivan. ):

I so have to do my homework consistently nowadays. Why?

I want to choose not chosen. (:

You know what I aim? It’s not impossible because I aM POSSIBLE. Hehe.

L1B5 ≤ 13 and L1R4 ≤ 10.

Crazy right? That’s why I can do it because I am crazy. Hehe.

Alright now, CCA Orientation posts will be coming up soon. Right after I finish important homeworks and upload all the photos. (:

Sweet Love

Toodles.

January 04, 2009

Trying to let go.

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Look at the very untidy timetable. I need a school organiser super soon! I mean like seriously, teachers ask us to buy our own organiser when in the end they’ll give us a school handbook. Waste my money okeh. It’s not as if I print money like as though it’s legal stuff.

Anyway, look what the four of the no-lives got themselves. (Okeh fine, it includes me too.

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Oh yes, 4 exact same designs and brands but different colours.

Red, would be mine. Pink is Farah’s, green is Shi Hui’s and yellow is Haziq’s.

Today was nothing much but first day of madrasah. It was all Kak Shidah’s fault till my class will be next to office itself. Damn it. Same ‘form’ teacher, different 2nd period teacher. The guys were practically being amused with ‘ASIAN DRINK’ sold at the office. LOL.

Now, I need a new school shoes like seriously. I need a new phone too because it gave me a shock of a lifetime by not being able to switch on all of a sudden after switching off by itself. ):

Brother showed off his new phone yesterday. SHOW OFF~!

Guess what? I’m not done with my homework. Hehe.

So you should know what I’m off to do now. (:

Sweet Love

Toodles.

January 03, 2009

Nothing more.

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You know, it’s weird how you asked me to keep to my promises when you don’t even show me how by breaking all your promises to me. Right, so who do you think I should learn it from?

Yesterday was horrendously funnily empty. (Inside joke)

Aishah: I wonder what to give her.

Me: Give her a pink pig.

Aishah: Hah? Where to buy?

Seriously, we should consider yesterday as an Official Retarded Day. (:

First day of school was awesome.

Spot check was good because I dress well. Since when I don’t right? Considering that the socks are so freaking long and kind of thick.

In class, Mdm Jas made us introduce ourselves again.

Me: *smiles* Hie, my name is Nasirah. Glad to see all of you back. I know all of you will turn sweet 16 this year, but too bad I’ll still be the sweetest.

4e4: EEEEEE! *makes all different noises*

Mdm Jas: Don’t you want to spit on this file?

We were given a yellow file filled with many sheets of paper. There were words of encouragement from the key personnels of the school. Very scary words of wisdom that reminds me of the big ‘O.’

Now what else? We had talk on ACE website for Maths stuff. So many websites this school subscribe to. What’s more, it cost my Edusave a heavy amount of $17. (Heavy? Not really. Heh.)

After much huhuhaha in class and school hours, went to the SJAB room (like finally) to monkey around before meeting. Will be so super busy on Wednesday. They seriously should place the CCA orientation on Friday nights (although this year I might have to miss Sinaran Hati with Taufik Batisah in it). Please, we got school on Thursday and what’s more, timetable resumes on Thursday. Give me a break (yes, I had it for 2 months)!

And after a noisy and filled-with-laughter meeting, the NCOs (except Jeremy) went to turn the whole centralised room upside down. The room looks so so much bigger and comfortable-er. I’m going to miss that room once I graduate. ):

Stupid graduation.

I’m so going shopping alone tomorrow. Which reminds me, madrasah has reopen after only 2 weeks break. Tsktsk.

This year shall be a very busy year for the whole family. Cousins getting married from April onwards up till August and October and December. Not to mention 2 different O levels in a year (hope it’s still ongoing).

Whatever it may be, I shall keep myself busy as of now not to mention that I have EMaths worksheet to hand in on Monday. GASP! 2 and a half worksheets to go.

I WILL SURVIVE, I WILL SURVIVE. (sings)

Sweet Love

Toodles.

December 31, 2008

I’m walking away.

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You know, I so love to keep little things that people give me. It’s like, I feel connected (shut up) to those people.

I was rummaging through my memory box and I saw lots of things that I can’t help but to smile at. Memories.

No, I’m not writing all this because 2008 will bid us farewell in less than 4 hours time. I’m writing for the sake of letting go of my feelings.

I was walking towards school yesterday and lots of couples passed by. So I was wondering, why do we fall in love? Yea, I know it’s a feeling that God created but really, we walk into this world alone and we walk off alone.

People don’t really care what happen to you because they don’t lead our life. Every one in our life come and go, just like that. We can be there for each other, listen to each other and try to help, but in the end, we have to face it ourselves.

Why am I saying this? Because I feel that way. And I believe things should go that way for me. For now.

Sitting in a very quiet room and thinking, I feel so left out and out of place around the people that I know.

I envy people who can go out to eat with their family super peacefully. I envy people who have a very good relation with their family members despite all the problems.

I want to learn how to face problems. I want to learn how to walk away from problems yet solve them and just carry it as far as I can go. I don’t want to be someone that gets stuck when met with a hiccup. I don’t want to be someone that walks away from my own problems.

I want to realise that sometimes, things go wrong because of me.

***

31/12/2008.

Marks a very nice ending ever. Why? Because I spend last night all alone. Yes, it may not sound very nice to many but at the very least, I could spare myself some time to think.

Not to forget that I could watch my CSI Miami peacefully. Which is a good sign so that I can watch my Jonathan Togo. Gahaha.

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And tonight will be the best night ever because I can watch my Taufik Batisah perform. Even better, I get to watch it all by myself. I mean seriously, since when my family ever stays up till so late at night, specially for me? Lets not talk about specially, lets talk with. Never.

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And of course, I have someone special to put. No, not another picture of Taufik but this act cute person.

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Okeh kidding.

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See? I don’t forget and I’m not so bad. Hehhhh. Happy Anniversary! Ehem ehem. (:

***
Twillight yesterday and it was super awesome, criticising. Haha. You know me (or maybe you don’t), I love to make good stories bad. Popcorn was flying throughout the whole movie. All thanks to Farah and Haziq. Nabila and I were so innocent and quiet.

*Innocent face*

Yes Man last week was hilarious. And surprisingly, I was too preoccupied watching and didn’t talk that much. Hehe.

***
Now lets talk about new year resolutions. Unlike last year, I have some on my mind.

1. The result I got this year is super unacceptable. So I’m going to push myself to start doing things that can make those results improve tremendously.

2. To have my mind sort out. From big problems to small problems. Yea, it will be really difficult considering the kind of situation that I already am. But if there’s a will, there’s a way. I think.

3. Make my final decision. Throughout the whole holiday, I’ve been asking myself if I want to let go of any 1 of the 2 subjects that I have been trying my very best to succeed in but can’t seem to do it. I told someone that I don’t want to drop any because I don’t want to be look down upon. But really, comparing to be looked down or to have myself suffer, I wonder which is better.

4. Save money so that I can get things that I want without asking for any more money from parents. Buy what? Stuff like PSP and Taufik’s CD.

5. Not to go out so often unless necessary. Yes, this will be really difficult considering how itchy I can be when it comes to staying put at home. Boredom you see.

Alright, 5 is easy to be thought of, but certainly not easy to be done.

As for now, let me just go settle my homework before school reopens.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Have a great 2009. (:

Sweet Love.

Toodles.

December 29, 2008

New Year!

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Lets just say that I am someone who celebrates lots of things. Whatever it things that might come in or way, a new year is a good way to start things. Fresh new start.

To all Muslims, Salam Muharram.

December 25, 2008

Sex Bomb. (ehem)

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Happy 15th Birthday Alif!

May all your wishes come true. But remember that no wishes can come true unless you work hard for it. Remember to work for it, pray for it and of course, hope for it. Merry Christmas! Okeh, I mean Happy Birthday!

Went out early in the morning to have breakfast with family, except for brother who was still snoring away. Tsktsk. Checkpoints’ Mee Bakso is like, so super nice although there was too many rubbish in it (I meant vegetables).

Was late in meeting the rest but at least I wasn’t the latest. Throughout the whole waiting, I was practically being bullied by them all.

Jian De: Everything leads down to one thing. (Asked a question).

Me: How would I know!

Jian De: Well, because Nasirah is retarded.

Met Fauzi, Jian De, Jeremy, Alif and his brother and they kept on calling me retarded. Why was I the main target? Because I was the only girl there. Genderist. Okeh, I meant sexist.

So we delayed like too many minutes because we were hanging outside the lounge instead of going in. Shy you see. Since I was brave and not that shy (NOTE: not that shy. I’m still shy), I had to ask about the room. I told you they were bullying me!

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As every one settled down slowly and noisily, we prepared every thing secretly. Then the cake came, with melted wax on it. Gahaha.

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Then there’s this super nice party confetti thing, I was attracted to it. Towards the end of the celebration, I was practically spraying it inside the others’ plastic bags. Gahaha! Very nice!

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Kecohrable. (:

And so the expert started to cut and distribute the cake while us professional planners passed him his presents.

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Picture on the right, I swear, most disgusting picture of the day. (:

And we started to sing while eating. And the songs we chose were like, GAHAHA.

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And this was a trend I started, no. not on myself but on Aishah. Hehe.

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Then I wanted to grab a picture of each and every one of them, and the first person had to do this.

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I know he is cute (nothing to do with the brother, really), but his face not as precious as mine okeh. Hehe.

Then they started to give out Christmas gifts, I’ll give mine next time. Else you can have me. (;

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Screw you Aishah, I sweetest and coolest (ehem).

After packing up and bidding goodbyes, I trained to Yew Tee and bused to Uncle’s house for prayers. Slacked and watched teevee, parents and siblings were rummaging through my gifts, I know lah as lovable as me.

And that is how I spent my day today. (:

Now, my nose is like an open tap thus I should catch a nap. Yey rhyming! Actually wouldn’t be a nap, sleeping instead. Hehe.

I am so going to start my homework soon. (NOTE: Soon may not mean tomorrow.)

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Sweet Love

Toodles.

Lets start thinking.

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I wanna grow old with you.

The friendship carved, the unity shown, the love shared and the things I have done with you.

It's because of you I feel so lifted
I've been looking at my life from higher ground
Never thought I'd be so elated
You're the one that turned it all around
- Something Right; Westlife.

I need to learn how to let go. But how far can it go?

Sweet Love

December 22, 2008

Get down.

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The whole week was nothing but out-of-the-house. Gahaha!

Saturday was spent at Mummy’s for Syafiq’s a year old birthday. OLD! Okeh, actually I’m older. Hehe.

The cake was peppermint like wow-ly nice! Family gave Syafiq this stuff where he can actually learn how to spell things. Oh wells. Doesn’t burn my pocket. Heh!

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Sunday was spent at Mak Nah’s for Abg Eddy’s engagement. So many chocolates. So nice. There was a whole load of Roche (Cough) and Have a break, have a Kit Kat.

Coming up would be a prayer session at Grand’s and more birthday parties. Zomg. And what is the best thing ever? I’m not even half done with my homework. I checked the calendar today, and I counted 12 full days for me to do homework and pure homework.

Now, what else has been up? Practically nothing. I’ve been very happy and jolly and not to forget 24/7 hungrehhh!

I want to get out of the house, again. Really very itchy legs. Hehe.

I crave for lots of things and Mom is currently super pissed of by me. The good way really. She said that she thanks God that I don’t have a lot of money else I would be spending it on my craves and only on my craves. Gahaha.True.

Now lets see the updated list of my cravings!

1. Duck rice!

It’s really so sudden because all this while, I crave nothing but only western food. The taste of the duck. But to find a halal duck rice is rather difficult nowadays. Mak Cik and Pak Cik all has got to start selling this again.

2. Creamy cakes.

3. Ice cream.

Not any other ice cream, anything minty. Especially the coned peppermint found at Geylang’s Joo Chiat Complex! Yummehhh.

4. Waffle Ice Cream.

Screw the visit to Fork & Spoon last week.

5. Taufik’s new CD.

Mom said she’ll pay for it once Dad get his bonus. LOL. Might as well say Dad will pay for it.

6. Chalet.

Nah, it won’t happen next year but maybe 2 years from now. (: Better than nothing really.

7. Iffah’s birthday.

Just for the joy of planning the party itself. Hehe. I’m a good planner you see!

8. New digital camera.

I got a fetish for cameras. Don’t ask me why. It’s just so interesting how camera’s work wonders with just a simple view. Awesome lah like that.

9. 2009 to get postponed.

Cause I have yet to finish up my homework. Like omfg.

10. Trip to Fork & Spoon.

No matter how much it makes me crave for a whole load of stuff. Gahaha.

 

Now everyone, screw your holiday thoughts and start doing homework. Bahaha.

Sweet Love

Toodles.

December 19, 2008

Andalus Youth Camp 2008

Hie. I’m back! Gahaha. No Shi Hui, my blog will never die like Alif’s. Heh!

I miss camp despite of all the complains before camp. Hehe. So camp was awesomely fun yet sad due to self reflection we do on both nights. Practically everyone cried, yes, even the facilitators.

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Woke up like superbly early and Mother and Sister sent me to Wisma Indah because I had no idea how to even get there. Talk about deprived lah eh. (:

Then we had briefing and off we go to Lim Chu Kang’s Camp Christen. It was a really nice place complete with all the facilities for survival camp, which is just mud and grasses. Hehheh!

The girls were to sleep in the bunks which was at level 2 of the whole village look-alike house. The guys were to sleep in the tents. Hehe. Basically due to the wearing of tudong when we girls are outside of our own home. So yes, very nice to sleep on a bed. (:

Then we got to know our own group members. I was in PURPLEgirls aka Singa with very lively and berok-like people. (: But of course, my NCOs are way worse than them. Ehem.

After settling down at the camp site, Kak Fifi put our responsibilty to test by giving out uncooked eggs for us to care for throughout the whole camp days. Haziq then asked me to fry the poor egg for lunch etc. Wth. Praying time then we started with our first activity which was fire ball. Was suppose to carry a water melon from one end to the other end with only our palms and all members are to touch the melon.

We then played mine field where 1 person in the team were to lead us from one end to the other while the rest were blindfolded. All the Facis were practically shouting their lungs out to distract us. LOL.

Tea break and lunch was nice nice food like rice and tea and biscuits and syrups. Every one was like adding water again and again cause we were too thirsty. So did I. Hehe.

Ain: Hot seh Zac! That guy pon hot! Aku kahwen nanti sure lelaki hot punyer!

(Hot seh Zac! That guy hot also! When I get married, the guy is sure to be hot!)

Wani: Ah aku tau! Kau mesti kahwin dengan Abang Ala punyer!

(Ah I know! You’ll surely marry Abang [Brother] Ala!)

Ain: Siaper seh tu?

(Who’s that?)

Wani: Bangala!

Prayed then played XOOM which was a hunt for our items in order to do our survival cooking. We were like retards running throughout the whole camp site. We had to search for a hoe, a full chicken, potato, fire starters and some coal stuff and all. Carrying everything and running everywhere. Very retarded really.

After XOOM was survival cooking itself. Our chicken was burnt like nobody’s business and we didn’t finish the chicken and potato during dinner that night. LOL. After praying both Isyak and Maghrib, we went for Muhasabah Diri which was self reflection.

Went to the road side which was quite deserted and the Ustaz were singing emotional songs while we think about what we’ve done throughout our life.

Kak Uslihanah gave a ribbon which was 63cm long (Nabi saw age when he died) and she burnt 15cm away from the 48cm (I’m 15 years old). Ribbon was like so short after that. So sad lah. How short life might just be. ):

We then got a candle each and Kak Long went around to light it up. One of the Ustaz was then going like “Imagine you are in hell right now. But hell is much more worse. Much hotter. Your throat can’t even stand the heat. What will you do? Do you really want to get to hell?”

We were suppose to hold the candle and only to blow it out when we can’t stand the heat anymore. The wax was like dripping all over at my hand. Super ho so I blew out mine although it’s not even half. To experience the sadness and scariness, you have got to be there yourself.

Supper and bismikallahumma ahya wa amutu but I was sms-ing Shi Hui and Kak Shidah the whole night till almost 1am. Hehe.

Day 2; 1712

Woke up at 4am to prepare for Tahajjud and Witir. No one was groggy despite sleeping in only at almost 12am after bathing and everything. (:

Listened to Ustaz’s talk after praying then go for Subuh. The wind and atmosphere was super nice early in the morning because we were praying in the open field day and night. Very nice.

After an hour break, we were suppose to prepare breakfast for all girls/guys. Like wth. My team got 2 packs of bread, 10 eggs and mayonnaise. Then end product? Like this.

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The ball stuff is certainly not fishball or any other things. It’s just bread. Haha!

While the judges looked at our decorated breakfasts, we did 4 BX which was basically physical training which isn’t physical at all because it’s just some warming up exercises. I don’t think anyone even had a drip of sweat. Heh.

We then had game session to prove that we can do things despite all the hiccups in life! Had quite a few station but it was fun!

First stop: Had to blindfold ourselves and go inside this one tent which is filled with different things like chairs and boxes and whatever else. The moment I enter, I accidentally knocked my head on the table. And it throbbed like LOL. Abg Fuad was like laughing away at us. Evil eyes.

Next: Went to Kak Faz’s station which was ‘river’ crossing. I almost crossed successfully but in the end fell and was eaten by crocodile. Tsktsk.

Next: Kak Nadz’s station was  to cross another river by using limited amount of bricks. I almost sprained my ankle. * =.= *

Fourth stop: We then had to do ‘skiing’ with 4 poles that is to be tied together so that we can get from one end to the other as a group. Kak Jun helped us in planning but in the end we didn’t manage to complete the station. Hehe.

Fifth: Spider web was GAHAHA. We almost got burnt and cooked because the logistics people were already starting up the fire for the next survival cooking. Kak Us was giving us tips and helped us to carry us to complete the station. Hehe.

The whistle was blown and we had to head for tea break. After tea break was Dhuha prayers. By then the wind was strong yet hot. After praying, we could proceed back for our last station.

Sixth: Ustaz Dani’s station was monkey walk whereby there put 2 wires above ground level on the tree and have to walk from one end to the other end. The Facis were going “Wahhh! All of you are qualified monkeys.”

Then we had survival cooking which was really super hands-on. We were suppose to clean the fish and to make our own bread.

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In the coal is the fish that we clean. The white thing held over the coal is the bread that we made ourselves. And on the plate next to the knife are the two eggs (which went missing) inside the orange’s skin.

Fish was left in the kitchen, hehe. Egg went missing. We finished the bread cause we found it interesting. Hehe.

Then we played part 2 of the above game.

Station 1: Kak Nadz made us blindfold ourselves and bring us to one area and made a shape of the five-gon. Wtheck is the name? A very simple game.

Station 2: Kak Faz was the protecting-the-egg-from-cracking. All 3 eggs didn’t crack! Woo!

Station 3: At Kak Jun’s station, we had to carry ‘chemical’ and transfer them from one pail to another without spilling the water or touching the pail. We did it! Hehe.

Station 4: We were suppose to spell the word “berdikari dan syukur” at Kak Us’ station by jumping or stretching our legs to the letters on the ground. And we did it~ Hehe.

Station 5: Was suppose to complete one set of puzzle per person in a group but we ended with only 1 completed puzzle. Ustaz Dani was telling us that the time was coming to an end when actually it was not. Ain ended up shouting “WAIT WAIT WAIT!”

Kak Us came and said “Ma Rabbuka?”

Which is translated to “Who is your God?”

Wth.

Station 6: Abg Fuad’s station was to get 2 corks out of a glass bottle. All done except for one cork.

After the whole activity, prayed Asr and had tea break. Off to bath then had another round of Muhasabah Diri but this time round for our parents.

Had to write down our thanks/apologies/promises on a card. After almost all of us finished writing Kak Fifi said “We will then send this card on your behalf to your parents”

And everyone was so panicky and many wanted to erase what they wrote.

Prayed, suppered and bismikallahumma ahya wa amutu.

Day 3; 1812

Last day was simple. Tahajjud then Witr then Subuh. Breakfasted after another round of 4 BX. Had to plan for our performance.

Cleaned the whole campsite and bath then time for performance. Gahaha. Was fun really.

Then, prize presentation and did salam ukhuwwah.

Bus-ed to Wisma Indah and performed Zuhr. After that, I took a long bus ride home and slept in the bus. Like woah syiok!

And therefore I miss camp because it brings a whole load of learning experience.

(:

Busy week ahead filled with family gatherings. Too many nephews/nieces born in November/December. Tsktsk. (:

Sweet Love

Toodles.

December 12, 2008

Lets get down to it.

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It’s hard to let go. It’s hard to come by.

I promised myself one post when I have forgotten someone. But I don’t know, when I begin to forget, he suddenly reappears right in front of me. I need to do some serious thinking on my own. Friends come and go giving me the exact same advice, but I just can’t seem to do it. What the heck is so difficult? I have no freaking idea. Maybe try since 2006. 2 damn years. I can’t just flip my brain any side I want and say, “The memory is gone. Now, who was it again?”

Try being me and go through what I had. I have no idea how to get on.

Moving on to the dreadful everyday life. How worse can it be?

Try crying almost every night wishing that someone would just lend you an ear or perhaps just give a little hug of encouragement. Oh yes, nobody knows what the heck is going on in this home of mine. Let me just rephrase that. I meant house. What’s the different? The difference is really wide to me personally.

Home: Somewhere you look forward to go after a very long hour of jam-packed schedule. Somewhere you can feel so calm and relax, you feel like you were sleeping the whole time.

House: A place where there’s a roof to shelter you from rain or shine. A place to take a break but only for a while.

I need a break! I so am in need to get out of here. But unfortunately, there’s always someone who says NO to it. I can’t stay cooped up forever you know. Depression state. (Okeh shut up Nasirah.)

Talk about privacy. So what if this laptop belongs to you. What’s so personal about your laptop? Practically nothing. All that you ever do with it is projects and projects and projects. Nothing else. So what the heck is so personal? Why should you be reading this post when you know nothing about me? You still have no rights to read them. My personal stuff. If you want me to respect your’s, then respect my space too.

You’re just so hot headed like Mom. Never knowing what I feel. Why is it so hard? I want nothing more than just peaceful days. There can never be one day that you won’t fight with me. Why are you always picking problems with me? Why do you think I always itch to get out of here? Why does it always have to be my fault?

I may be your supposed 4th, but I’m still a child of yours that deserve some free space and respect that she deserved and that she got.

Camp is coming up. I’m kind of excited I guess but I still have no idea how I would survive. 3 days Nasirah. 3 days.

Aidiladha just passed. I missed Mak Long’s food so much so I didn’t bother about the freaking taste of vomit at my throat for the pass few days. Irritating very much. But it’s okeh really, I get to taste lontong and sambal goreng and kuah lemak and fried chicken and sambal sotong and other stuff. Heh.

I’ve been sleeping late nowadays. Try 1 or 2 in the morning. Tsk. Panda eyes like really. What have I been doing? I’ve been watching Tyra Bank’s talk shows about how weird people are and some other adult stuff (S word duh). I also have been watching She’s Got The Looks, project runway and America’s Next Top Model. HAHA. Really nothing better to do.

I’ve been watching lots of Chinese dramas. From the 3.30pm to the 5.30pm to the 7pm to 9pm shows. Addiction!

I’m not only about dramas and reality shows, I did my homeworks too. Like WOAH. I finally got my ass started on it. And I might have started on it but I’m not even halfway through. Do you know how un-nice that is? School is reopening in around 3 weeks time and I’ve not even started on AMaths (all Kelvin’s fault. Ehem). AMaths is such a pain in the ass. There’s so much workload and I can’t seem to start on even one question. Wth. Motivational? No way.

I think I should just get on with works and works. There’s not much time to go you know. Life is short. Because (I’m short. Gahaha. Dream on!) the time in our daily life is getting shorter. Just when will we ever enjoy life? Forever. Look out of the window. The trees, people walking by and the moving clouds. Those are life that we can never imagine.

So stop saying life sucks cause it isn’t. YEY life!

This post has random feelings. I wonder why.

Sweet Love

Toodles.